


Before My Eyes Turn Colorless

by orphan_account



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Disassociated Identity Disorder, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Poetry, different pairings might pop up through time, more or less canon, mostly angst bacause im a sad person, platonic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:25:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5687491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of TG/TG: re poems with different themes or POVs.</p><p> </p><p>My pride, washed away</p><p>My sins, come and play</p><p>My world, black and grey</p><p>My death, old as day</p><p> </p><p>Written by Ryvalia</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Open my eyes, before they turn colorless

My eyes, blinded by anger

My ears, deafened by the bitter

My feet, scarred by the wicked

My voice, hoarse as it pleaded

 

My soul, emotionless

My spirit, heartless

Open my eyes

Before they turn colorless

 

My face, stolen

My breath, broken

My tears have run down

Now they have spoken

 

My pride, washed away

My sins, come and play

My world, black and grey

My death, old as day


	2. Can we?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HideKane fluff and angst  
> Hide's POV

Can we go back to the days

When I would ask you to put your book down and play?

Can we go back to the times

When we would get treats that only cost a dime?

 

Can we walk down that street again

Where we got soaked in the pouring rain?

Can we visit the shrine down the road

Where we would get our hopes and wishes shown?

 

Can we sit under the tree that we planted?

"It's warm here," you commented

Can we hang out at the coffee shop near our school

Where you tried to pick up girls using books as your tools?

 

Can we talk to each other like normal people

Instead of averting gazes, and feeling so little?

Can we meet each other without the worried faces

Instead of avoiding me on a daily basis?

 

Can you answer my messages, or return my calls?

At least say something to me, when you walk down the school halls

Can you stop ignoring me, every single day?

Can you at least say goodbye before you went away?

 

Can you tell me all that you've been through?

All the pain, all the torture, when I wasn't there with you

Can you let me offer you a hand

Even if it meant that there would be no safe place to land?

 

Can you stop trying to protect me

Because all you're doing is hurt yourself, don't you see?

Your bruises and scars, on your body and in your mind

You don't know about them, because they can only be seen from behind

 

You say it's to protect us

From the dangers of them all

But really, you're just scared to be alone again

And with that, you've built a wall

 

You get beaten up, kicked, and thrown against the ground

You get up and fight back, all without making a pained sound

You kept on with the routine, getting stronger little by little

But really, in the end, you broke as if you were brittle

 

I called out to you in the darkness

Despite the surrounding madness

I asked you to go all-out

And then you went down with an incoherent shout

 

Can we walk side by side again, down a moonlit road?

Can we talk about our crushes under the night sky, vast and broad?

Can we smile freely again, laughing at your lame puns?

Can we make other people stare at us, since we called embarrassing ourselves in public fun?

 

Can we forget all this, and just go home?

Back where the skies are clear, and the sun still shone

In the middle of this chaos, can we still be friends?

Even if I won't be with you until the end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two works so far were originally posted on Wattpad. -Ryvalia Raviolo


	3. To you, dear mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki's POV on his mom

Mother, mother

Are you really my light?

Mother, mother

Should I keep standing and fight?

 

Lies, lies

Flying around like little butterflies

Lies, lies

Hush my sorrow and my cries

 

Are you gentle?

Are you kind?

If I open your heart,

is it pure warmth that I will find?

 

Are you mean?

Are you bitter?

Do you fake smiles

to look a little sweeter?

 

Do you love me?

Do you hate me?

Do you treat my bruises,

or deem me useless?

 

Do you adore me?

Do you despise me?

Do you shower me with love,

or give me beatings and shoves?

 

Do you love me being around?

Do you want me in the ground?

Do you laugh at my jokes

or make me cry until I choke?

 

Do you feel happy when I smile?

Do you slap me every once in a while?

Do you consider me as a treasure,

or look at me as if I'm a failure?

 

Is this my fault, why you're crying?

Is it my mistake for being alive?

It's the harsh, cruel reality you're denying

You're risking so much just to survive

 

If I stay low and keep quiet,

will you stop making the living room a war zone, a riot?

If I accept pain and not inflict it,

will your dark world light up just a little bit?

 

Are you loving?

Are you caring?

Are you an angel from heaven,

preventing my fragile life from breaking?

 

Are you angry?

Are you mad?

Are you frustrated,

or just simply sad?

 

To the woman who gave birth to me,

who gave me the ability to speak, to hear, to see

To the woman who broke my little heart,

tearing it down, part by part

 

To you, my hardworking mother

I express my thanks to you

To you, my wretched mother

I have learned what pain is, anew

 

To you, my dear mother

I love you more than anything

To you, my pathetic mother

I owe you no love, only nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No offense to all mothers out there. I felt really guilty when writing this because I felt like was in a way hurting my own mother. This work is only intended for fictional characters. None of these negative feelings was directed towards mothers.
> 
> So the anime watchers or the manga readers who aren't up to date with TG: re won't get it, but apparently Kaneki's mom was abusive towards him instead of being the kind, gentle mom he portrayed her to be. The physical and mental trauma warped his memories, so he remembered his mom as Ms Sunshine instead of the devil reborn. My leetel cinnamon roll wants happiness -Ryvalia Raviolo


	4. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide's (not sure if he's alive tho) POV on Sasaki  
> Hide knows that Kaneki lost his memories in this one

How long has it been,

A year or two,

Ever since I last saw you?

Were we in a crowd, or was it just us two?

 

You looked so happy, in your own little world

Instead of the darkness, whispering as it swirled

It was as if the tragedy never occurred,

Never existed, never to have been heard

 

No battle scars,

no insanity behind those bars

No brooding eyes,

just twinkling fireflies

 

A gentle smile and black-and-white hair

A five-foot-six body, skin still fair

A soft voice, modest and polite

A serene face, as calm as a summer's night

 

A love for literature,

let it be a fantasy or adventure

A master of puns,

because seeing their exasperated faces was fun

 

Still going to the bookstore,

buying books in threes or fours

Still drinking the same old coffee,

as I watched you from the windows of :re

 

White coat, white suitcase

Joy and happiness, written on your face

No signs of sadness or forlorn

No memories of your past, as if you were a newborn

 

You and your squad like a small, typical family

It looked like a reminder, how we used to be

Should I drop by, talk a little while?

Maybe catch a small fraction of your new life style

 

You used to be shy, hiding behind your book in the library

And now you're in a place where you thought you'd never be

Taking care of others, being the mom,

feeding your baby chicks from your open palm

 

I'm grateful for finally seeing you like this,

but is it nostalgic?

Is it being with you that I miss,

even if our end was tragic?

 

Is this the life that'll make you happy,

one with ignorance, innocence and bliss?

I need fate to promise me

that I want to see you live like this

 

Lost are your memories of me,

of those days with ice cream and hide-and-seek

Cramming for entrance exams,

and talking about ridiculous future plans

 

Should I stay away,

and watch you live day by day?

Should I leave you alone,

and see what you can do on your own?

 

But I'd like to be with you, as that loud best friend

Who shouts on the streets, and knows rowdiness to no end

I'd like to meet an old and new buddy

Even if you look at me like I'm just another somebody

 

I'd like to meet the new you, with a fresh restart

What might be a good greeting, maybe a sincere one from my heart?

I approached your table, bright and yellow

As I greeted with my tone mellow

 

" _Hello."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was singing 'Fireflies' and 'Hello' when writing this (windows definitely didn't break. Nope. //proceeds to sweep away glass shards) Click away if you were searching for fluff. I ain't got no fluff up my sleeve. Me is sad peperson. Said I'll post twice a week, but there's a huge maybe and if right there -Ryvalia Raviolo


	5. Black, White and Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this one is about about I guess it's part of TG...?

Light skies, flying, flying

Light truth, we're not withholding

Light times, worth celebrating

Light truth, our hearts are singing

 

Dark abyss, falling, falling

Dark secrets, we're not telling

Dark lives, we're all living

Dark secrets, we're all drowning

 

Grey fields, walking, walking

Grey lies, we're not shouting

Grey skies, no light glowing

Grey lies, my voice was screaming

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this week's posts are a little late 'cuz apparently my Internet broke down and is only working on my iPad right now ;-; sorry for the delay and for my really crappy poetry (poetry with no rhyme scheme makes me feel as empty as my soul) -Ryvalia Raviolo


	6. Me, Myself and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disassociative Identity Disorder

Close your eyes

Count to three

Get lost in your mind

And have a small chat with me

 

**I don't want to be here**

**No, not here with you**

**I don't want to feel that pain again**

**That seems to always come out of the blue**

 

_What did I ever do wrong_

_To deserve this living hell_

_Because of this I haven't smiled for so long_

_Sometimes I even wonder if my sanity is still well_

 

Look at me and learn the truth

How you got here, how you lived

Look at me, and see the real you

Accept me, and countless memories I will give

 

**Let me feel happy, and leave me alone  
**

**I don't want to take your hand, or sit on Death's throne**

**I won't give in to you, leave my life as it is**

**Allow me to live my days with my ignorance and bliss**

 

_I don't want to be here  
_

_A place filled with power and fear_

_I don't want my life to become more of a tragedy_

_Because this darkness has no remedy_

 

 

I am not and will never be your foe

I just do not want this deadly parasite to grow

Sooner or later, you'll listen to my plea

Before these little spiders manage to break free

 

**I will keep this life, no matter what you say**

**I will make a meaning out of every night and day**

**I will never ask of your help, even in a fight  
**

**I will never face you, even if it's not right**

 

_I must not hurt anyone  
_

_So should I go for it and run?_

_Should I starve myself and die of hunger_

_Instead of letting out the beast within me that slumbers?_

 

You're weak as you are

You won't even survive a measly war

You need my strength to end this all

All you need is a wake-up call

 

**I know I can't handle this, I know I can't win**

**I know I am nothing to your power, as my chances of living are thin**

**But still I'll stand here, holding out my hand**

**On a spider lily field, I will wait and stand**

 

_I'm failing my true intentions_

_I'm wandering in the world of a beast's creation_

_I can't escape this fate_

_No matter how much of this I hate_

 

Looks like you're down to one move

One blow, one second, before you lose

Your queen will be gone soon and so will your king

Checkmate, no draws, no truce

 

**I'm striving and striving**

**Where's the power in my fighting**

**I need to keep my soul alive**

**For my small little family of five**

 

_I'm falling, falling_

_I'm screaming, screaming_

_I'm crying my blood out_

_Since no more tears can come out_

 

Have a small nap as I take back what's mine

**I know this is a trick, I'm not stupid, I'm not blind**

_Accept his offering hand and end all of this mess  
_

I'll give you my secrets, and get rid of all these pests

 

**I'm slowly dying but I won't disappear**

_But what is this lullaby whispering in my ear  
_

Sleep and rest peacefully, let yourselves be free

For now and forever, this body **belongs** _to_ me

 

 

 

 

 

Bloopers:

I am not and will never be your foe

I just wanna be your bro, not your hoe ahahaha wtf SAIKA AHA EYY

I just do not want this deadly parasyte wtf to grow

Sooner or later, you'll listen to my plea

I need to pee-pee

Before these little spiders manage to break free

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^legit drunk writing
> 
> The three different fonts (?) represent different POVs. I included cinnamon roll Kuroneki (not the Harry Potter one) since I'm a random piece of schmoop -Ryvalia Raviolo
> 
> I DIDN'T APPROVE I SWEAR SPARE ME I AM DEAD. RYVA-CHAN MUST DIE. GOODBYE I HOPE NONE OF U WILL MISS HER - Bloodthirsty Cat Sai-chan

**Author's Note:**

> Since poems are easier to write and you can write a poem just about anywhere, I might be posting here more often than the other story I'm working on, Egg of the Black Goat. (don't know how to put link there sorry) Poems might be posted about two times a week, but that's only when my mind stops thinking about solving for x. Saika and I have a major school performance soon, and with rehearsals plus extra classes, we might (MIGHT) not be able to post a lot. Again, poems will be posted more often. So. No yaoi. Sorry fellow fujoshis. My heart is a black hole right now after reading AoKuro fics. -Ryvalia Raviolo


End file.
